A Quick (Slightly Irreverent) Thanks

by Lindsay on November 24, 2011

A quick giving of thanks on this most feastastical and turkeylicious of days:

I am thankful for fresh ground coffee and yummy breakfast quiches that my mummy sometimes make for me when she’s feeling generous.

I am thankful for my wonderful med school friends. Who else would share in the glory of noticing that we’ve had not just one, but TWO lecturers in the past two weeks who have looked exactly like one of the Ghostbusters guys (Dr. Igon, I think). Not the Bill Murray character. Or the Dan Akroyd character. Or…ummm…the black guy (I swear to god i’m not racist!). It’s the other white guy. Yeah, that one. You know who I’m talking about….maybe. We’ve had multiple lecturers look just like him. Is it a biochemist thing or something?

I am thankful for Colorado’s glorious weather. Sure, it may snow in October. But come November it’s all 60 degrees and gorgeous. I think it may have even hit 70 for our thanksgiving meal today.

I am thankful for being done with anatomy and its stinkiness. Seriously. Life is still ridiculous, of course, but at least my hair doesn’t constantly smell like formaldehyde.

I am thankful for yoga’s newfound place in my exercise routine. I have been so off-and-on with yoga over the years. When I’m into it, I do it 3 times a week. When I fall off the yoga bandwagon, I do without it for months at a time. Since starting medical school, I’m now “on” with yoga, and it’s been glorious. It’s been exactly the form of exercise I need at the end of a long day with my brain working at a million miles an hour. It calms, centers, and grounds me in a way that I truly crave.

I am thankful for ridiculous 80s playlists. Right now as I type this post, I’m rocking out to Rick Astley’s cheeze-tastic “Never Gonna Give You Up,” and it just makes me so happy. I might just have to cut this post short so I can dance it out. This post has just been Rickrolled. I’m not even kidding.

I’m thankful for skiiiiiiiii days. I’m going tomorrow (second time this season), and I’m anticipating glory. Sortof. The snow has been iffy here as of late. I mean, 70 degree days aren’t conducive to awesome ski conditions as you might imagine. But it’ll be awesome to be in the mountains nonetheless. They are my happy place, after all.

Finally, I am thankful for sweat pants (aka. fat pants). I don’t know if I could function properly after my Thanksgiving feeding frenzy without them. They allow my bloated stomach to subsist without any hint of impingement, and for that, I am eternally grateful to them.

What slightly irreverent or random thing are you guys thankful for?

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Top 3 Things I Learned During Anatomy

by Lindsay on October 22, 2011

Notice that my title did not reference the top 3 things I learned FROM anatomy. I don’t want to bore anyone with those lovely minute details of the intricacies of the ridiculously complex machine that is the human body.

No. Let’s not go there, friends.

Instead, I’m just going to detail some of the life lessons I learned during the medical school hazing ritual otherwise known as anatomy. In no particular order, they are as follows:

1) Any exercise is better than no exercise. Anatomy was one of the most time-consuming endeavors I’ve ever encountered in life. More so than work. More so than my college studies. It just consumed EVERYTHING…we generally started class at 8 and then continued with lab until 5 after which I needed to spend 4-5 hours studying at night trying to learn the massive amount of material we were expected to know. It was like a job that never ended, and the amount of time required for studying really unnerved me. I sacrificed a lot of the leisure time I was accustomed to during my previous working life.

Those long training runs I normally did on weekends? Gone. I didn’t have the time to train for anything. Somedays, I didn’t even feel like I had the time to workout at all. But ultimately, I made the choice to do what I could with the time I had. It wouldn’t kill me if I didn’t do the traditional 45 minutes of exercise. I could do 25 minutes, and that was enough. I always felt better afterward, and it meant a lot to me that I was doing something good for myself.

2) Being kind to yourself is the key to dealing with times of immense stress. This relates to my previous lesson. So you know how I tried to exercise when I could? Well, sometimes I felt so stressed out that I just bailed on exercise for multiple days in a row, particularly right before exams when it seemed as though every waking second needed to be devoted to studying. I always felt sorta guilty about it, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. You know what the nice part about this exercise skipping was? I realized that I will not DIE if I skip a workout. Heck, I won’t DIE if I skip it for three days in a row. Ultimately, my body craves exercise, and if I don’t fit it in for a few days, my body lets me know. After a few days of relative inactivity, I always wanted to exercise….mostly to relieve stress and get rid of pent up anxious energy. It was like an itch that needed to be scratched.

That said, even with my slightly diminished exercise regimen during anatomy, I didn’t gain weight. Nothing terrible happened. Yes, I might have lost some of my physical fitness, but it wasn’t the end of the world if I didn’t adhere to my original workout goals for the week. I forgave myself and moved on. And honestly, I’m a better person for it. Life will go on. I think the body has a remarkable way of finding its way back to equilibrium if you just listen to it. That’s what I believe anyway.

3) Life balance is waaaaay more important to me than being a medical student machine. One thing I learned about myself is that I am not a studying machine. I just can’t do it.

Some of the kids in my class are honest-to-god study machines that can just go and go and go for days without surfacing for air or any outside relief. I am not one of these kids. I am not going to be the number one neurosurgeon in the world simply because I want a life outside of medicine. One that is fulfilling and enriched with all the things that make me happy. Don’t get me wrong. My studies are incredibly important to me, but it is simply not worth it to me to sacrifice my health, my friends, and my overall sanity to achieve Honors designations in classes.

This is kind of a big deal for me because I’m type A. I like to be the best, and throughout my life, I’ve always been toward the top of my class. Anatomy was a different animal because of the amount of memorization that’s required to do well. The more hours you put in, presumably the better you do. But where do you draw that line? I decided to draw the line such that I did not honor the class. I did well, of course. I learned an immense amount and showed mastery of the vast majority of the material. But I did not honor, and that was a bitter pill to swallow at first. I’ve been told numerous times that the first two years of grades in medical school are a very small factor in what hospitals look for during residency applications. But still, there’s a part of me that wants to do the best I can in everything.

Prior to medical school, I could do what I felt was my best without sacrificing my happiness. Now, I don’t feel that’s quite as achievable. During anatomy, I did my best within reason, I figure. I could have chosen to study for hours and hours and hours on-end, and then maybe I would have honored. But I didn’t, and I honestly feel that I was happier during this block than some of my fellow students. I feel like this whole balance thing is a big deal for people in my profession, and it’s something that I want to always keep in mind going forward into other time-consuming endeavors like residency.

This is my promise to myself going forward….I will not expect perfection from myself in all areas of my life. I will do my best, and I will focus on what I need to do to achieve a reasonable balance between life and work. If that means being less than the best, then so be it.

Ultimately, I want to be a doctor who is fulfilled in both her career and her outside life….and as much as I would like to be the best at everything, I simply can’t. Something’s gotta give. I would like to think that being a good doctor doesn’t require spending hours and hours learning every possible minute detail of distal sites of nerve innervations in the brain. I think being a good doctor requires taking care of yourself first and your patients second. In order to give the most of yourself in your work, you need to be a happy, fulfilled person first.

I hope to keep these lessons in mind moving forward through the rest of my medical education: I am human, I am not perfect, and that is just fine with me.

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It’s The Final Countdown….Bumduhduhduhdum

October 17, 2011

Hello friends, today is a big day for me BECAUSE it’s my LAST DAY OF ANATOMY!!!!!!! No more stinky formaldehyde. No more cadaver parts. No more lab time. One more test stands between me and (quasi) freedom. Hopefully, I’ll resume a more regular blogging schedule starting in the next few days or so. Fingers crossed. [...]

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Flurgity Blurgity Blarghhhhhhhhh

August 22, 2011

My mind feels like my title. Just like…ughhhhhh….blarghh….ughhhhh….memorize, memorize….drooool. So. Much. Memorization. It almost hurts. I’ve decided to emerge from my med school black hole (yes, contrary to the previous post, I think it does really exist) to tell you all that I just don’t think much blogging is going to go down during my [...]

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No, I Did Not Disappear Down A Blackhole

August 12, 2011

Yes, I am here. Shocking, I know. I feel like I haven’t been blogged in eons. It’s been a week and a half, you say? Might as well be eons in blog time. I apologize for my absence from this little corner of the internet realm, but several forces have conspired against me to prevent [...]

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AmeriCorps, Moving, And Med School Musings

August 4, 2011

As I sit here in my new townhouse located in my new city, I feel a sense of peace amidst the whirling dervish form that my life has taken over the past couple of weeks. I wrapped up my final day as an AmeriCorps volunteer, closing out that chapter of my life. A very strange [...]

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My Ridiculousness Astounds Me

July 27, 2011

My life is a bit of a shitstorm right now. Madness. Chaos. Craziness. BLARGHHHHH. Here is what I’ve been up to: Last week of AmeriCorps ever. Moving to Denver in three days. Starting medical school in a week and a half. Cleaning out my refrigerator and accidentally destroying a huge glass shelf with my bare [...]

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A Deviation From Plans

July 17, 2011

Sometimes, when I go hiking in the Colorado Rockies, I feel as though I’ve been transported to another planet- the surroundings are so beautiful they almost assume a surreal quality to them. A Lord of the Rings style otherworldliness, if you will. Never has this been more true than this past Friday when I ventured [...]

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My Job Is Awesome Sometimes

July 8, 2011

I can still call myself an AmeriCorps member for only a few more weeks. Crazy to even say that since AmeriCorps has been a huge part of my identity for the past two years of my life. The next phase of my life will commence the week after that when I begin this little thing [...]

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The Land Of Enchantment

July 5, 2011

I spent the last four days on vacation in the enchanting land of northern New Mexico. A land of dry air, dust, and wonder. Sage and brush. Rolling hills blanketed with shrub trees and sunset hues that have inspired artists for centuries. Adobe and ladders. Turquoise and silver. Endless chili peppers and charming ristras Gallery [...]

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